Today I finally did what a man has to do. For about four months Ive been supposed to go for a health checkup. Which means blood flooding. It took me four months to book it. And now for four weeks I have been supposed to go to war and get that blood tapped out. Monday is my checkup. Today is friday. And this morning i chose to hit the floor with that loud thump.
But its alright, im used to failures after nearly a year at SSE. No matter how load the music in my ears was, no matter how focused I was on my goal and no matter how well i tried my best to breathe. Boom. Into the floor. Meanwhile I was somewhere super comfy, nice, happy dark and warm. -Hello! hello? Are you with us?
Argh! Having to leave that nice place to wake up at a cold sterile boring laboratory again...
It's weird how our body reacts. How it takes us to a super confy party place when we're about to do something we dont like. And then brings us back again when its over.
The human being is not supposed to give away its blood. We are supposed to defend ourselves. But when the mind takes over the body weird things might happen. Self destruction. Wasted drinking. Drugs making yourself inconcious. Insane eating til you throw up. Minimized dieting making oyur body eat itself. Music so loud it hurts. Forcing yourself when your body screams of pain. Have you seen those girls in ironman? crazy.
No wonder some people take drugs to disconnect their brain.... Too bad its too late tho...
Well well. I am alive. And I am happy its over. Although I wonder where I was while that needle was in my arm. That nice, dark, fun, happy, warm place. Where is that? How and when does my brain decide to take me there? And when am i going back?
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